In my red wallet

Years ago a man whom I looked up to told me that "when you want something it is only a wish, once written down then it becomes a goal." He even had a board which he pinned pictures of his goals to for all to see. He said it made him feel accountable for his goals.

After he told me this I started writing my wishes down turning them into goals. They have been big and small. My first list was on a little torn sheet of paper. It has been rewritten onto a back of a receipt and then another scratch piece of paper. Some of my goals go from See Celine Dion In Concert to Become a Mother.

If there is something I KNOW I will have to work for, plan for, strive for, my list is pulled out of my wallet and added to. As things get crossed off more is added. For my 29th birthday my goal of Sleeping in a Haunted Location was crossed off but since I have added 5 items.


Today a major item was added. I have been waiting for confirmation I will be able to pull it off because I did not want to set myself up to fail.

But this can be done.

It will be done.

And I can not wait.

It is time to pull out my wallet, get my list and write down…..

Donate my time overseas by bringing medical supplies and scrubbing surgeries for individuals who do not have access to modern medicine.

I have the organization I will go through and now I simply have to save my money (a lot of money...this one is going to take will power) and prepair myself to assist in surgery which will take place in a non ideal OR. Time to buckle down!

The universe helped me along the way through my education giving me the resources to receive knowledge. It gave me a gift. And now it is time I give back. I will give thanks by helping fix a child’s cleft lip or repair a man’s problem bowel which hinders him from working.

So now my goal is written down in two places, my mind is made up and having an unselfish goal feels fantasic. 

I think.....

...music makes everything better


...you should smile at one stranger a day, at least

...everyone should have at least 2 hobbies

...there is no sweeter sound than a child saying they love you

...there are always 3 sides to a story

...you should lie on top of the warm clothes right out of the dryer for a few seconds

...if your dress twirls well, you should twirl

...i am finally learning to have patience

...a peanut butter and jelly sandwich goes best with Cheetos

...all political and sport team posts should be banned from facebook

...men over the age of 25 should own a suit

...being single is okay

...yet being in love is better

...pink polish is for the summer and red is for the winter

...seeing the awesome mothers my friends have grown into is a pretty incrediable thing

...it is okay to eat Twizzlers for dinner

...that I might never move as to never have to be without my grumpy old man. Why must he be so lovable and the sweetest thing to wake up to?

love notes

Dear Old Friend,


Thank you for the day on the water. I do not think we have laughed that much together in 12 years. The salami was delicious, my shoulders turned pink and you were the perfect host.

Dear Old World Map,

I know you are out there. And I am excited about all the amazing treasures I will find along the way of searching for you. But do me a favor and let me find you by November 1st.



Dear National Exam,

I am dreading you on Wednesday. I do not know if I have ever wanted to not do something more than sit down at that computer at 8:00am and let one stupid test tell me how much I have learned and if I am good at my job. I know I am good at my job. If you are in my OR you are in capable hands. I do not need a 200 question test to tell me this. Yet when we meet in a few days help me stay calm and NO TRICK QUESTIONS, please.

words which made my day

My first favorite quote from the week was spoken from my backseat by the gentleman who drew me a picture of me working.

I asked Sutton if he knew what a parking garage is and he said "isn't it the thing we went into when Mallory came out?"

My response while holding back my laughter was "yes you parked your car in a parking garage when you went the hospital when your sister was born."

 "Hey guys it is pretty great we still feel so close even after all these years.  I mean we all have other friends but you 3 are the ones I would call if i had to hide a body."  - Tonya

dream a little dream

Lately I have been day dreaming of....

my first pay check acquired from doing what i love

a tiny apartment to call my own

a french film being played on my laptop while curled up on blankets outside

an all white bed with yellow throw pillows

what painting i should paint next

taking afternoon strolls downtown

and a certain shower curtain

but as i think it is highly unnecessary to spend $60 on a shower curtain this current day dream will have to come true in another way.  perhaps my next painting?

What was that?!?

Friday night I found myself piled in a pick up truck headed west.  Stories were shared and jokes were told as we kept driving west. After 45 minutes of my surroundings looking like this...

I googled myself.  I had no idea where I was.  But I knew the driver has been driving these abandoned roads since he was old enough to jump in a old truck with his buddies and a 6 pack to explore their world as small town county boys.  Yet as a city girl I was getting a little nervous. I had to make sure everyone was paying attention to what was going on and I said "we have not seen a house or even a light in the distance in over 30 minutes."  And someone, I am not quite sure who, said "isn't this the point?"

We did not really have a destination.  We wanted to use the light of the half moon and see if we could still as adults scare ourselves to the point of laughing. 

Mission Accomplished.  

 We found an abandoned school house.  I could not get enough of the simple detail of the woodwork and chalk boards which used to be filled with reading, writing and arithmetic which had been ripped off the walls by weather and time. 

The rule was NO FLASHLIGHTS. 

But I had to see. 

I had to touch as much as I could. 

Thank you flashlight app. 

 

Most everything which made us jump was us scaring ourselves. 

But that is the point, right?

 And this was a terrific Friday night of creepy locations in the middle of no where Oklahoma.

A friend's mother's film

If this team had cheerleaders I would be the Captain

Today as I was leaving the hospital for the last time as a student and the realization that the pressures and sacrifices over the past year were over, done, gone I was over come with emotion. I can't believe I did it...one day at a time, one test at a time, one surgical procedure at a time. And then there I was saying "see you all in two weeks when I am finally getting paid for this!"

And it happened.

I saw something which made me go to my car and cry the happiest tears.

I saw pride in the eyes of the individuals which I have worked 3 months with, learning from and trying my darnedest to impress.

I received a high five from someone who works in the instrument room. A wink from an Anesthesiologist. A nurse said "hurry back so you can be our coworker!" My OR director told me she was proud of me and she will miss me while I am studying for my national exam over the next 2 weeks. These people saw me go from a quite student to a future co worker ready to brighten the room and complete each case as close to perfection as possible.

See at a hospital if you work in the OR you are apart of a little gang. A gang who sticks together. We are the only ones who know what it is like to do what we do. How we crank music, talk about our families and politics, tell jokes, give each other a hard time and generally exchange intelligent banter. To have a million things running through our minds but know how to stay calm and get the job done.

We do what it takes to be able to day after day survive the high stress job of operating on individuals with loved ones waiting in the other room yearning to hear the words “everything went great” to be spoken.

Last weekend our sweet Anesthesiology Tech was hit by a drunk driver. She was not even in the ambulance and a few of our surgeons were on the phone with their lawyer friends.

 

We are a team.

 

A team with one common goal.

 

The goal of helping people and keeping each other sane no matter the situation.

I could not be happier about being apart of the OR Team of OU Medical Center Edmond in two weeks.

My dear future co workers I promise to make you proud.

Thank you for being excited I have completed school and making me feel like I am already apart of your family. It made today even sweeter than it always was.

Does it even have batteries?

Most of my evenings lately have been spend at my parents store on the computer, writing case studies, researching procedures and studying anatomy. Exciting I know.

I do not mind this really. 

I adore my studies and I always have a cat walking on my desk begging for attention.

Yet one evening something happened.....something which I kept forgetting took place till I see something again... and this something is a toy.

This toy.

I was in the restroom and I could hear Pandora playing and then I heard a child laughing.  My first thought was my sister was there for some reason and her kiddos are with her.  This would of been totally random. A welcomed visit but still random.  And then I heard the laughing again. At this point I was sure my 3 favorite little people were there and I was hurrying to go swoop them up and cover them in kisses.

I walked out and no one was there.

I was the alone.

Weird.

Then I heard the laughing again from my dad's office and then a toy start making noises.  Now this said toy makes noises when you push it.  But this toy has not made noises in probably 6 years. But there it was dinging away....

I picked the toy up and put it away.

Doing everything in my power to ignore what just took place.

Strange toy you need to stay put on the toy shelve. Far away from me.

2 Elizabeths and a mirror

An early morning last weekend I had somewhere to be. A set time was quickly approaching and I needed to get ready, pick up the morning mess and get my To Do List in order for a busy day.  Yet at times there are more important things than a made bed and last nights pj's in the hamper.  And this Saturday morning the more important thing which pushed all responsibility aside came in the way of a 13 month old beauty who shares my middle name. 

And this lovable baby girl and I sat and did our make up together. No rushing. No care we both had somewhere to be. And as she stared with sparkling blue eyes at my freshly applied red lip stick I knew this is a moment I will not forget.  The moment I felt was this aunt's first girly lesson of life being given to her niece. 

She giggled as I touched power to her round cheeks and reached for the gloss after I gently applied it to her tiny smile.  Mallory then showed me how she thought the gloss would look nice in her hair. 

Sometimes my sister's daughter gets a look of pure determination. Nothing is going to stop this tiny human from doing what she has her mind set on.  And this morning make up lesson had many of these looks.  Like she was memorizing my every move to then use herself later when she is being bugged by her big brothers while trying to get ready for her first date. 

Miss Mallory Elizabeth you are gorgeous......just like your mom.

Thank you sister for sharing your blonde baby girl this special morning.

I sure love her.

Lip gloss in her hair and all.

Music Snobs please leave the room

Off the top of my head these are some songs that as soon as my I tunes shuffle brings one of them up my mood is shifted or if I am lucky flooded with memories. 













 



 

It takes a long time to grow an old friend

Yesterday I sent this text

to this lady

Down on the banks of the hanky panky. Where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky. With the eeeps, ops, soda pops, the frog missed the lily and he went ker-plop

Today while driving home I pulled up behind a school bus and as I waited for the childern to find their way off I saw most of the windows had been turned into individual pieces of art with hearts, names, and squiggle lines. I then started thinking about my school bus window art.  My go to thing was to use the side of my hand to make tiny foot prints to make it look like a baby walked across my window.  Then I would turn around to find one of my friends sitting across from me to play a hand slap game and sing......

Miss Suzie had a steamboat, her steamboat had a bell.
When Suzie went to heaven, her steamboat went to
Hell-o operator, give me number nine.
And if you disconnect me, I'll kick your big
Behind the yellow curtain, there was a piece of glass.
When Suzie sat upon it, she cut her big fat
Ask me no more questions, tell me no more lies. The cows are in the pasture baking apple pies. 

When was the last time you thought of this song?
And why did our mothers let us sing it?!

Love Notes

Dear Hulu,
I was feeling under the weather this weekend but you came into my life and gave me hours of entertainment. Probably too many hours of entertainment.

Dear October Road,
Your pretty people, perfect streets, and never changing weather makes for a wonderful TV drama. Too bad America didn't get hooked and I only have two seasons to watch.

Dear Disappointing Email,
This is not a love note. This is a hate note. I wish I never even opened you. I have not felt that much disappointment in a very long time.  I am going to pull a little sour grapes and say I didn't want that job anyways......who am I kidding.....I did want it......but there is something even better out there. Now if I could only find it.

Dear Toystory Cupcakes,
You showed up magically at my door and made my nose no longer stuffy and my ears no longer itchy. I know it was you. The 16 hours of sleep had nothing to do with it.

I think....

...a glass of ice water made by someone else tastes better
...every lady should have backup of her favorite lip gloss
...all Christmas decorations should take themselves down
...batteries should be included
...every fridge should have fresh fruit and a box of wine
...everyone should have 3 written down goals
...no meal is complete without a dash of salt
...something needs to be done about health care, i just do not know what
...the Harry Potter movies are better the second time watching
...a $125 hair cut should somehow magically make your roots not grow as fast or wash your car
...everything has a place and everything should be in it's place
...if someone gives poor customer service smile back at them, they are probably simply having a bad day
...the world would be a better place if everyone could take their pet to work
...a compliment from a stranger feels extra special

...it's going to be a girl.....or a boy.....no it will be a girl for sure.....boy?

The universe thought my sister's family was needing a 3rd rug-rat and gave them a mega surprise a few months ago. The end of June will be an exciting time! I am nervous for my sister since her hands are already more than full with these dudes.

Another nephew or niece to love?
YES, PLEASE!!!

Good thing they are so cute

While the sun has yet to make its grand entrance for the day and all is quite in the house I am woken every morning to one of my dogs dancing at the backdoor. I some how wiggle my way out of my boyfriends arms to let the dancing dog out while the other furry baby still has no intention of leaving his comfy spot on his bed.

I find my way back to bed trying to do this without opening my eyes not to wake up fully.  I am swooped up and a soft beard is now nuzzling my neck.  As soon as I fall back asleep the other little fur covered love is moving around waking me with his collar and tag reminding me it is his turn for the backdoor to magically open.  

Once again I am dragging myself away from an anaconda type squeeze reminding myself no one makes me hold it so I should not make him do the same. With still half closed eyes I let the dog out and giggle to see the boys jumping around with each other in the yard like they have not seen each other in days.  Now my body is all most awake and tells me it is my turn for the restroom.  As quickly as possible I get back into bed and find the perfect spot on Jeremy's chest and as soon as I let out a sleepy sigh Otis will be back at the backdoor throwing himself against it telling me I am being a bad mom by making him stay outside.  I let him in, give him a pat on his sugar bottom and see Carson is not done chewing on firewood and unsuccessfully climbing a tree to get to the birds.  As soon as I am back into bed Otis is now barking to get into bed with us.  Now he has steps to assist him in the process which he refuses to use.  

 

I pull him up and now my boyfriends arms are full of a 18 pound ball of sweetness and are no longer needing me. 

Just as my body is relaxing Carson is now at the back door barking.  I fall out of bed, dust the dog off from the leafs he was recently rolling in and find my way back to my boyfriend and little sidekick.  As I am pulling the covers up snuggly I will receive my first kiss of the day with the words 'are you ready to start our day?' to follow.  

Yes I am ready to start my day.

Ian Axel - This is the New Year

Do yourself a favor and turn this up, sing along, and dance your little heart out.  

Seriously....do it.....no one is watching.

I just did and I am now feeling ohh so fine! 

A night which will not be forgotten

My list why NYE was perfection. 

• too tight of a dress for a four course dinner
• red velvet and chocolate cake served with champagne
• a smartly packed knapsack
• not ruining a dear friend's brand new, never been worn, $175 pair of boots
• a neighbor taking care of my fury babies
• 3 of us in a teeny weensy bed
• a movie romantic midnight kiss
• arm and sumo wresting 
• staying up entirely too late
• my dashing date
• knowing a fresh start is at midnight
• taking zero pictures at the swanky restaurant  
• stilettos which treated my feet well 

This was the girls unsuccessfully trying to take a nice picture together.

We were a mess needless to say.

Thank you my friends for helping me celebrate the new year 

the only way we know how.....being the dorks which we are.

Happy New Year!

Dear 2011,

I have only one request. Please good to me and the ones I love.   I have some small hopes and dreams for the new year but they seems silly when comparing them to a brand spanking new human growing in my sisters tummy and my parents taking on the battle of downsizing. I simply ask if you need to teach me lessons keep them one at a time.

Much Love,
Me

 This next year.....
1 - Get a job
2 - Pay off taxes
3 - Paint bedroom, kitchen, entryway
4 - Wash car more often
5 - Teach Carson to not jump when people come over
6 - Build trust where needed
7 - Figure out a way for more days in the week
8 - Be proactive with issues before they become problems
9 - Win the battle with my skin
10 - A trip to Ikea

 

Through her eyes

I am excited for this post. It's my first guest blogger! 

Taylor Jane is new to the blogging world and so far I give her two thumbs up.
Something I am slightly jealous of is her perfect grammar and zero typo's. How is it possible.....

TJ and words go together like two peas in a pod. 

Kinda like her and I.

Without further ado..........

  

So I recently started a new blog and sent my “about me” section to my darling Christel for her approval since she is, in my eyes, the blogging queen.

She liked it so much that she asked me if I would be a guest blogger on her site and write one for her as well.  Of course I said, “Of course”.

Now, it’s really easy to talk about yourself because you know yourself better than any other person ever could…but I’m going to give this thing a shot.  After all, we have been friends for 23+ years…I kind of know her better than most.

My style is a bit different than Christel’s, I make up words sometimes, and you may think this is just a bunch of random gibberish…or you may really like it.  Let’s find out. 

Even though I’ve known Christel for SO many years, I got to know her even more through her blog.  I’d never known her to really be a writer-the shiz that comes out of that girl’s brain sometimes just amazes me…this I’ve always known, but the way she writes is not the way she talks.  Her writing is truly giving the world a glimpse at what really goes on in that head of hers. 

I’ve never met someone that can logicize the world the way that Christel does.  You could throw that girl out of an airplane over a desert and she’d, with a smile on her face, build a sand castle to live in.  She’d dig until she found water and then have a pool party.   The whole lemonade out of lemons phrase was written about her.  Swear.

She likes to sing (not very well), she dances when she’s happy, she loves cupcakes.  She likes it when her boyfriend picks her up from her waist and she kicks her legs like she’s running in the air.  She can find the silver lining in anything in the world.  She has the best, “It could always be worse” attitude I have ever seen. 

She can’t smell and loves it when people describe smells to her…something, even after two decades, that I am TERRIBLE at doing.  As hard as I try, I just cannot do it well.  Try it sometime.  Leave her a comment and tell her about your favorite smell.  Try it and then giggle at yourself when you start to type, “It smells like, you know the way a peach smells?”  No, she doesn’t…because SHE CAN’T smell.  I love this about her…I just wish I was better at describing the indescribable.  Challenge yourself, accept my challenge.  I dare you.  J

She says things like, “don’t yuck my yum” when someone doesn’t like something that she adores.  She gets tipsy after two beers and her head will hurt for three days after.  She doesn’t like taking medicine even when she feels like she’s on her death bed.  She doesn’t use curse words…*unless you REALLY, REALLY make her angry…and even then, she will only say them in front of a few, select people.  She texts them more than she says them-I think that’s her way of convincing herself that she hasn’t really said anything bad at all.

Christel is the only person I have ever met that still lives by things that her mother told her when she was a child.  At least once a month I will hear her telling someone that the reason she does a certain thing is because her mother told her it should be done that way.  And sometimes, because her mother told her that if she didn’t do something then she wouldn’t like the repercussions.  (Like don’t swallow that watermelon seed Christel, or a watermelon is going to start growing in your belly.)  

She loves to travel, write, giggle and hang out with her family.  They are one of the closest families I’ve ever seen.  She forgives and forgets…and seriously forgets…if it’s out of her sight, it’s out of her mind.  She can trick her brain into believing anything she wants without ever giving it a second thought.  I wish I had that quality.

There is always something that can be done…a drawer to be cleaned, a window to be windexed, shelves to be rearranged.  She will get up from even the most mind-blowing movie to go organize her silverware drawer, or remember that she doesn’t like where a box is in her attic-so she’ll go move it.  She also organizes her friend’s houses too…which is a nice plus!  

If you tell her no, she’ll do it just to prove you wrong…and then tell you, in her ever-so-nice manner.  And if she ever doubts herself, she’ll prove herself wrong, one way or another. 

Her handwriting rivals that of a grade schooler, which is something she embraces.  And something that I still laugh about, lovingly.  She’ll tell you when you’re being stupid and she’ll tell you when you’re being great.  She can find greatness in all things flawed and give you 27 reasons why a piece of grass is the greatest thing on earth.  She can spit off 934 reasons, without a second thought, why that decision you just made was the right one…even if you don’t think it was. 

I don’t know how she does it but she does it every day.  She’s the best friend a girl can have…and I’m proud to have called her mine for so long. 

 *this is really NOTHING like my “about me” page on my blog…I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that Christel is much more complex than I.  AND…it, again, is a whole lot easier to just say random words about yourself.  I’m not sure if this is what she wanted…but I dig it, nonetheless.

Thank you Taylor for being a guest! And I must say reading how a very close friend views you in her own perfectly placed words is an incredible moment which I didn't know existed.  I have now read this 6 or maybe 10 times.  

Now we should all go read more of Taylor's thoughts at www.coherentlychaotic.com

 

She's entertaining.....I promise.